I had been planning to write this letter for a while. Likely, we’ll have some people important to you over for a meal, and they’ll ask you questions about your favorite class, and what you will miss about college, and make comments on how fast it all went.
I will be full of big feelings, looking around at strategically placed pictures of you growing up and wishing you knew exactly how proud we are in this moment. I imagine I’ll have some mama-wisdom bubbling up inside, dying to get out. I might get a chance to say one or two of these before it will feel like I am sermonizing, and you won’t remember it all anyway.
So, I wrote them down, and here are my thoughts, charges, and don’t-forgets:
- We will celebrate. In fact, that’s one of our family values: we celebrate W’s, milestones, Sunday nights, and other you-did-it’s. We want you to know we cheered when you walked, when you overcame, and when you grew up, and that isn’t going to stop because this stage is over. This is just one more never-forget memory we’ll mark with food, gift cards, and lots of cheer.
- Be grateful. Less than 7% of the world is college educated. God saw it fit to develop you in this place, in your field, because He has big plans for you. You can lose a lot in life, but no one can take away from you what you earned at school these last four years.
- It’s time. You are ready. It never feels like it when you make a move to a new job, or into a new stage, but the secret of adulthood is that we all just smile, and step forward, knowing most of the time that we are scared and not ready. There’s a lot of on-the-fly growing up that happens, and we believe you will be great out there.
- Families stick together. This is a family life script for us. You can call about anything, anytime, and we will be there for you. Sometimes that meant we sat through cold football games, welcomed new friends of yours, or made room for another at our table, but the truth is, you can’t get rid of us, ever. We will always have your back, and you can always come home.
- You will always be learning. This might be the end of GPA’s and 8:00 a.m. classes, but you’ll keep acquiring knowledge and wisdom all of your days. I so appreciate your approach to learning up until now, and I know you’ll grow through further study, Google searches, interesting conversations, and vocational training. Don’t get stuck thinking about all there is to know, you’ve already figured it out. Be open to expanding your perspective, seeing something from someone else’s angle, or even changing your mind. New information causes our brains to be elastic, so keep stretching yourself, and life will never be dull.
- Presence matters. I hope you take this into your new life stage. Show up for others and have the expectation they will show up for you. Your grandmother taught me this through her actions, and I hope I have passed it along to you. You can’t fake presence, and being around isn’t the same as being present. Be there for those you love.
- I so believe in you. School gives us a chance to say it frequently (“You’ll do great on that test.” “You will be a great social worker.”), but it’s not the only way we see you. In fact, I believe more in who you became in college, than in what you accomplished. I will try and sneak it in when you are buying a house, getting married, or receiving a promotion, but whether or not it’s something the world recognizes as great, I will always believe in you and who you are capable of being.
- The work is always worth it. I hope you are leaving my house with this burning in your mind. Whether we are talking about a relationship, a house project, a complicated meal, or a difficult goal, do the work and enjoy the result. Even if it doesn’t turn out exactly how you want, what you learn and experience only makes life richer!
- You are part of a much bigger story. It can feel like you get to make up your days and see at the end what you add up to be, but it’s not really like that. There is more going on than what we can see on any given day, and Someone who sees your life from beginning to end. You stand on the shoulders of generations behind you, and lift up the opportunities for the generations to come. God has a plan for your life, and it’s my joy to pray for you, as it unfolds.
- I love you. Not because of what we celebrate, or what you have done, but because of who you are. I love your crooked toes, curly hair, and feisty spirit. I love your big hearts and strong faith. I love you—when you are grumpy, and when you are generous. It’s a fierce kind of love, and don’t ever doubt what it can do for you.
The three of you came to me through three different roads, but it doesn’t matter how you got here, it matters that we are here—together, celebrating, this season and your lives. A virus can’t steal that from us; in fact, if I am honest, I think it clarified what we already knew was true—we don’t need any stinking ceremony to celebrate you. Congratulations.